Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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