woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize