none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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