Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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