when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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