covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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