I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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