you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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