I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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