lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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