U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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