We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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