ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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