oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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