We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
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How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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