Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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