No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
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I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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