Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
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I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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