He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize