we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
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She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
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Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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