there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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