I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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