Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
His nipple licking is glorious
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