So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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