dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
And then my night got REAL pukey
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
PANTIES FOUND
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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