Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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