She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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