He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
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He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
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He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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