So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
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i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
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Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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