there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize