I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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