I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize