**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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