I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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