forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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