Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high

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(310): I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high http://tfl.nu/hr6z

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(703): View more from Virginia

Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"

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(703): Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises" http://tfl.nu/h5gc

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.

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(608): You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied. http://tfl.nu/sqjw

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(360): View more from Washington

he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.

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(360): he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me. http://tfl.nu/9e4p

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(303): View more from Colorado

Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!

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(303): Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties! http://tfl.nu/mly2

Replies (12) Good night (727) Bad night (4577)
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(757): View more from Virginia

It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.

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(757): It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean. http://tfl.nu/z8cg

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(317): View more from Indiana

she was licking his armpits.

(317): View more from Indiana

asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.

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(317): she was licking his armpits. (317): asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story. http://tfl.nu/2ll0

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.

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(920): I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice. http://tfl.nu/yj17

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .

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(203): he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on . http://tfl.nu/rwb5

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.

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(508): There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day. http://tfl.nu/fth0

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(503): View more from Oregon

She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.

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(503): She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze. http://tfl.nu/rdoy

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(310): View more from California

OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?

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(310): OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS? http://tfl.nu/ewib

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.

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(+44): She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs. http://tfl.nu/ojt0

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(334): View more from Alabama

I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.

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(334): I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system. http://tfl.nu/d0ap

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(616): View more from Michigan

I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now

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(616): I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now http://tfl.nu/th7d

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