Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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