And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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