I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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