i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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