So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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