Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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