There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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