I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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