You were right. It hurts to walk today.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize