Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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