why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize