also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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