on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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