He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
someone owes me an orgasm
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
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Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
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Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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